I can't believe that I am saying this, but I now have experience with dung beetles. Now that we have moved down from the mountains and live in the hotter lowlands of Panama, I am seeing even more little critters that I thought were only to be seen on PBS nature programs. We seemed to have experienced some sort of seasonal invasion and now I have some insight.
(http://offthemark.com/search-results/key/dung+beetle/)
The dung beetle is basically a rhinosaurus with wings. It is the helicopter of bugs: big, loud, obnoxious, drunk, inconsiderate and totally oblivious to its own creepiness.
(http://www.oum.ox.ac.uk/thezone/funstuff/jokes/bugjoke.htm)
When the sun goes down and all is black, it is drawn to any light. In its drunken state, it buzzes loudly around all light bulbs and fixtures smacking into them with a loud TINK TINK TINK noise. You think some goofy neighbor kid is flicking your glass windows out of boredom and then you look out in disgust as you see it there.
But it seems to have a propensity to women and their long wavy hair. Like a drunken kamikaze pilot, it buzzes, swoops and dives haphazardly into some poor woman's lovely hair. She shreaks, does a unique stomping dance that reminds one of a tribal ceremony and then thrashes her head around for five minutes like a heavy metal fan, thereafter convinced that it has crawled underneath her scalp to plague her for the rest of her life.
In "A Bug's Life," the Disney movie, they did everything possible to make the dung beetle seem loveable. I understand. They don't want kids to have prejudices or fears about bugs. They tried to make all the bugs cool instead of creepy, quirky instead of irritating or loveable instead of completely and utterly disgusting.
(http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Dim)
Well, sorry Disney. I'm still creeped out by this bug when I go out onto my porch and there are five of them, all upside down with their legs waving around in the air. When they are not tormenting women and innocent children, they just randomly fall to the ground - similar to roller pidgeons. They can stay like that for DAYS if not discovered by the neighbor's puppy who seems to take pleasure in tossing them into the air and watching them drop repeatedly. They appear to have some natural predator though. I have found that along with the live upside down sprawlers, there have been pieces of other fallen comrades in the same area. I don't know what predator does this damage, but I wish it would stop leaving leftovers.
One predator I do know of is the male human under 10 years of age. These two-legged beasts entertain themselves by watching the faces of nauseated human females as they slowly and dramatically crush the rhino bug under their shoes. Their faces light up with intense twisted pleasure as the females face screws up into complete repugnance.
So that's the story on dung beetles. If you come to Panama from March to April, be prepared to see these flying rhinos and if you're a woman with long hair, consider packing a bee keeper's hat...or just shave your head....
(http://offthemark.com/search-results/key/dung+beetle/)
The dung beetle is basically a rhinosaurus with wings. It is the helicopter of bugs: big, loud, obnoxious, drunk, inconsiderate and totally oblivious to its own creepiness.
(http://www.oum.ox.ac.uk/thezone/funstuff/jokes/bugjoke.htm)
When the sun goes down and all is black, it is drawn to any light. In its drunken state, it buzzes loudly around all light bulbs and fixtures smacking into them with a loud TINK TINK TINK noise. You think some goofy neighbor kid is flicking your glass windows out of boredom and then you look out in disgust as you see it there.
But it seems to have a propensity to women and their long wavy hair. Like a drunken kamikaze pilot, it buzzes, swoops and dives haphazardly into some poor woman's lovely hair. She shreaks, does a unique stomping dance that reminds one of a tribal ceremony and then thrashes her head around for five minutes like a heavy metal fan, thereafter convinced that it has crawled underneath her scalp to plague her for the rest of her life.
In "A Bug's Life," the Disney movie, they did everything possible to make the dung beetle seem loveable. I understand. They don't want kids to have prejudices or fears about bugs. They tried to make all the bugs cool instead of creepy, quirky instead of irritating or loveable instead of completely and utterly disgusting.
(http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Dim)
Well, sorry Disney. I'm still creeped out by this bug when I go out onto my porch and there are five of them, all upside down with their legs waving around in the air. When they are not tormenting women and innocent children, they just randomly fall to the ground - similar to roller pidgeons. They can stay like that for DAYS if not discovered by the neighbor's puppy who seems to take pleasure in tossing them into the air and watching them drop repeatedly. They appear to have some natural predator though. I have found that along with the live upside down sprawlers, there have been pieces of other fallen comrades in the same area. I don't know what predator does this damage, but I wish it would stop leaving leftovers.
One predator I do know of is the male human under 10 years of age. These two-legged beasts entertain themselves by watching the faces of nauseated human females as they slowly and dramatically crush the rhino bug under their shoes. Their faces light up with intense twisted pleasure as the females face screws up into complete repugnance.
So that's the story on dung beetles. If you come to Panama from March to April, be prepared to see these flying rhinos and if you're a woman with long hair, consider packing a bee keeper's hat...or just shave your head....
Hey! That is hilarious! I love your writing style. I actually laughed out loud! I heard you were sick. Hoping you're doing better!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm doing much better. Thanks. And gladly, the dung beetle invasion seems to have died down.
ReplyDelete